Sunday, April 20, 2014


Holy fuck! I just started this blog and the title is already messed up! Why didn't blogger recognize the apostrophe which I oh-so-consciously-placed-there???

Now, instead of saying, "Mabel's Neighbors...", IT LOOKS LIKE WALMART AT HALF-TIME ON SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!

Ok, Mabel. Pull it together. Remember what our therapist always says..."get your finger out of your throat, you dumb bitch! Purging never solved ANYTHING!!!"

Ahh, that's much better. Ok, so about me... I'm a single female, age 34, with ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL ISSUES WHATSOEVER. And, just for the record, I have never been sexually abused.

I reside in a one-bedroom bungalow, in a seditty neighborhood. My neighbors include nurses, teachers, counselors, a judge, a cop, an asshole, another asshole and his asshole wife, an engineer, college professors, and a pedophile (possibly).

I plan on graduating with my Ph.D in Investigative Journalism late next month. This will be my 4th doctoral degree. My other Ph.D's are in Sociology, Psychology, and Medieval Studies.

I always attend on-line colleges, because why leave my house if I'm all comfy, right? The only man I will ever love is Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. My biggest dream is to become, "Dr. & Mrs. Sheldon Lee Cooper." I can just picture the checks from our joint checking account now.

Right now, besides drinking wine and binge-watching "Awkward", my favorite thing to do is watch my neighbors. And this is where I will log my findings.